Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Misery

I've had a really bad experience at work recently. In spite of my determination to deal with it and move on, I am still feeling pretty upset and, most of all, quite vulnerable.

Without going into too many of the finer details, there's a piece of work I do twice every year. It draws on work that someone else has done, but it's always been my job to do this particular part.

A group of women I work with (can't call them colleagues because the feeling is now distinctly non-collegial), led by someone I had thought was my friend, got together and decided that they wanted to take this work over. I don't know why because it is not glamorous or exciting. My former friend, who is very controlling, wanted to impose a number her personal preferences on the work. She knew that because they would not fit the medium, I would say we had to modify them, and she wanted to have things how she wanted them, even though ot's not her area of expertise, or responsibility.

So she gathered up a couple of women and they tried to cut me out. They shopped things around to all my contemporaries in other departmnets and my superiors here. They made enquiries. They tried to get sign-off on everything so they could simply proceed without me.

They did most of this while I was away. And they did it without endorsement from anyone else.

But I found out eventually. I've politely inserted myself back in where I am supposed to be, and have kept my boss informed.

I've always treated these people with respect and will continue to be professional and respectful. I won't trust any of them, least of all ff, with anything ever again.

But I still feel rotten. Betrayed and upset that ff could be so nasty to me (even though it's not about me per se, it's her own screwy issues for which she refuses to get therapy). Even though it isn't about me, she should have known I would have been upset at what she did. And in order to make herself "safe", she flat-out lied to me.

I'm upset also because when I told one of my colleagues, he dismissed it as a personal problem between women, when it was clear I needed some sympathy and support. He told me I needed to work it out with ff. Hey, I tried, but she doesn't want to work anything out, she wants to make me as miserable as she is!

I feel vulnerable becuase I thought these women were my colleagues and that they had at least a basic level of respect for me. But they don't - or they wouldn't act this way. And so I go to work knowing that there are 3 people in the building who dislike me enough to want to spend a lot of their time and energy trying to boot me.

It sucks.

3 Comments:

Blogger Violet said...

I feel bad for your situation. You should be able to trust your co-workers, eh?

Could you tell whoever it is you all report to? I reckon this sort of thing has to be dealt with out in the open, so it doesn't end up sounding like a personal thing "between women".

I hope things get better soon.

10:39 am  
Blogger Ruth said...

wow, that realy sucks!! sorry to hear about your situation. work environments are the worst when you feel like you can't trust anyone.

on another note, River looks gorgeous!! great job on that =)

12:12 pm  
Anonymous molly said...

Sorry to hear that things are crappy! I have been having lots of similar problems (that I haven't mentioned on the blog) so I can totally empathize. Hang in there, and just remember that you're not alone!

3:55 pm  

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