At a crossroads

I've been toying with an idea recently.

I'm thinking about blogging as me.

I mean, I blog as me now, but it's a kind of covert-me. I don't mention my name or much about me. It means I won't get dooced, which is always a bonus, but there are downsides.

For example, we're planning to get married and move overseas. People want to know what's going on on those fronts, and once we're gone, blogging will be a damn sight easier than individual emails (I hate the group emails, o how I despise them!).

It would mean I couldn't bitch about some things anymore, but I'm not sure I need my blog as that kind of an outlet so much anymore. I'm getting better at dealing with all the weird and hairy nastinesses that come my way, rather than just brooding.

It would probably mean choosing a new blog title (an exercise fraught with difficulty) but it would also mean I might put some real effort into the layout and stuff. Dammit, I know the HTML, but in some ways I can't be arsed for my anonyblog.

Also, it would mean being able to share a blog with friends in a way that I would never share an anonyblog. There are 3 people in the whole world who know me and know about this blog. Only 3 people.

I'm at a real crossroads in many areas of my life at the moment, and the blog question is a much smaller and less important issue than the rest (What kind of wedding do we want? Should we buy an investment property? Where do we want to live? Do I want to make lifestyle changes to include exercise in my everyday life? Is it time to stop reading trash and tackling all the classic novels I promised myself I'd do once I finished studying? Can I get over the stuff that has caused me to feel to alienated and second-class with The Trouser's family? Do I even want to?).

It's an issue most people would argue is less important than most, and thus should be allocated less energy. But you see, it is hugely important to me. It's my issue and my issue alone - no one else to consider, just me. And blogging has become so important to me that I give it due consideration.

So why am I particularly thinking about this now? Because I was googling my cousin to find out details of her wedding (long story but we barely know each other due to living on different continents), and I found her blog. It was weird to read about someone I'm related to, a similar age to, and who's going through similar stuff, but have no actual personal connection to. And I wondered how she would feel about me reading her blog.

And it made me think of the one 'overseas cousin" I'm a bit closer to, due to our trip last year. And how I'd love to share more about my life with him. And how he'd make a kick-ass blogger.

And I wondered if this whole anonyblogging this is just a bit chicken of me.

So I'm standing at the proverbial crossroads, waiting for... some sort of sign or something. Just waiting...