Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Other people's crap

I really, really hate it when other people dump their crap all over you.

Not when they are friends/ family (or even strangers!) who need a hand cos they're going through a rough time - that's fine. It's the people who don't make an effort with you at all, but expect you to put them in the centre of your universe, and when you don't do as they say, they dump their (metaphorical) crap all over you.

You see, The Trouser and I have had to make some tougher decisions in the past few months. Big stuff - extended family's desires vs. our needs; financial security vs. short-term happiness for someone else; etc. It has been hard for us - we both consider other people, even when they don't consider us.

Some of the decisions we made have meant that other people have not been pleased. But you can't please everyone all the time, and there really is no pleasing some people. Besides all that, there is absolutely no point putting other people first when they never stop to consider you - even when you ask them to!

The Trouser received an unkind email today that upset us both. Apart from its appalling spelling and punctuation, and total abuse of the grammar system as we know it, it was mostly remarkable for its lack of clarity and consideration for other people. We were not surprised that the sender was self-centred - we knew that already (though I suspect The Trouser originally thought the sender was less selfish), or that there was a total lack of logic displayed in the crazy-ass suppositions and conclusions that were made. What we were surprised by, however, was how mean, nasty and just plain horrible the message was.

A tantrum is usually unpleasant, but via email it is worse (you don't see their face going red so there's no comic relief).

The actual content is too miserable to even blog about - but basically I am a nasty, manipulative, evil bitch who is unworthy of The Trouser and all those who know him. Oh, and my morals are all shot to hell, too. Apparently "everyone" says so.

The upshot of all this is that, aside from the drama of trying to sort out the tanty-thrower (who will be visiting NZ soon, and whom we cannot avoid for various reason), we may have to totally change the trip we've been planning for ages, since the tanty-thrower's place was a major destination.

Anyone else ever had a really nasty tantrum thrown at them via email? Any suggestions as to how to handle it all? I am so sad (and quite hurt) that I want to ignore it all, but then it will only get worse.


Blogger Violet said...

Sounds like in-laws or something. It's never happened to me, but I'd probably respond by telling them to get f*d and go on holiday. And who could blame you if you did?

6:31 pm  
Blogger Nyx said...

I agree with Violet on this one. It sounds horrible so get them out of your life. Why will ignoring it make it worse? Won't it go away eventually? Perhaps, plan a lovely holiday while these tanty throwers are in town. Will that work?

12:55 am  

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